Day 4 has been pretty good. New weight: 190.0 - that is 1.6 lbs I've lost.
I got up, had my usual shot, green tea and vitamin cocktail (aka chocolate protein shake). Was out the door in time and at work ON TIME, in fact early. I really feel like I'm starting to turn a new leaf.
Today I met with Pam. Pam is a nice sweet lady, the type of women that you just want to hug and laugh with... the type of person that likes a job well done... and she did just that for me. Pam is a certified colon hydrotherapis. Sounds scary hmm? Well I felt the same way... until I was in a medical gown with my knees in the air and a tube in my ass.
The story of my first colonic starts like any other story about poop really... I was nervous, scared and somewhat embarrassed. I arrived at Pam's little colon sanctuary 15 minutes early with all my paperwork filled out, a full bladder and a cheesy grin on my face. I had no idea what to expect. Before I knew it I was looking at a very informative diagram of a 'life size' large intestine and the acupuncture points that have been used for years to 'massage out' the crap that has been stored in your body for years. I was totally fascinated and really enjoying our poop conversation when all of a sudden, I was up to bat.
I entered a small room that was very tastefully decorated with a large bed (a mix between a masseuses table and a hospital bed). She pointed out the machine that would be doing most of the work and the tube that would soon be my tunnel to cleanliness.
I went to the restroom to disrobe from the waist down and empty my bladder. I put on a mint green medical gown and headed back to where my tube was waiting for me.
After laying down on my back Pam asked that I lay on my left side and this is when she well... you know... surprisingly enough, she was really gentle and it seemed like nothing... well OK she made me take a ton of deep breaths likes I was about to do Yoga and it relaxed me. Piece o' cake (or ass). After I was back on my back with my new extension between my cheeks, I was ready to go.
The way a colonic works is the machine has a very slow flow of warm water that goes back and forth, in and out... and then as you get use to the sensation... your colon is then filled with water.
Pam said 'alright, we are going to fill your colon now', I had no idea what that was going to mean or feel like. At first I couldn't feel a whole lot... then she said 'if you feel like you have to have a BM then let me know'. Since I wasn't sure what this would feel like, I thought I would 'pull the chain' a little early and told her I thought I was going to... well you can't lie to the all mighty clear tube. I tip my head forward and see there is a clear tube with water flowing back and forth... I realize this is my ass water!! Nothing came out... it was clear! So again she filled me up... once, twice, three times... and finally from the edge of my gut I feel a sudden urge! I'm going to shit the table!! I'm like 'PAM! I... I' and before I could say anything else she has released the value and there in it happened... I was shitting in a tube. At first I was so embarrassed... and then I heard Pam say 'You're doing so well, you really are! Great job! This is what we want' and I realized... I'm freaking here to get the cleanest colon around! It's on! This went on for another 25 minutes, Pam massaged my tummy and chatted with me, while I expelled my guts.
After all was said and done, I had to sit on the pot to ensure I was really 'done', then I got dressed, gave Pam a big hug (after all, we've been through a lot of shit together now) and went home.
I totally feel great! I feel cleansed and I'm really excited to take care of my body... weird hmm? Who knew shit could do that to you!
Scary as it may seem, it's totally worth it!
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